Am I Wrong for Prioritizing My Mom’s Feelings over My Wife’s?

A man is caught in between his mother and wife. The two women do not get along ever since the mother-in-law made remarks when the couple was still dating.

A man revealed on Reddit that he is married to a 30-year-old woman and sadly lost his father, 50, in an accident in 2023. He is now torn between his mother and wife, who have been at odds for the past three years.

The Original Poster (OP) further divulged, “While we were dating, my mom made the comment that she didn’t feel we were ‘right for each other.’ Since then, there has been a heaviness around them.”

OP shared that despite the animosity, his mother has apologized to his now-wife and always expresses her love for her. But his spouse has not entirely accepted the apology because she is convinced the mother-in-law only apologized after they got married and had “no choice but to accept [her],” said the man.

The couple later moved houses because of a job change after OP’s father passed on, and now they live only 20 minutes away from his mother. Recently, OP’s siblings made plans for the family to get together for dinner in the city, which is about 1.5 hours away.

However, the weather conditions were unfavorable, so OP’s mother asked to ride with him and his wife. She would meet them at their apartment and depart from there.

OP revealed that his spouse told his mother “no” and that she is old enough and should be able to drive herself to the gathering. According to OP’s wife, giving the mother-in-law a ride enables her “helplessness.”

OP explained that when his father was still alive, he used to do everything for his mother, including driving her to the city, especially during bad weather.

After his wife denied his parent a ride, the couple argued. “I told her we are giving my widowed mother a ride to see her kids and grandkids,” OP revealed.

Seeing that he stood up for his mom caused tension between him and his wife, too, and he felt terrible about that. OP feels guilty for choosing to consider his mother’s feelings over his wife and is now stuck between the two women.

Fellow Reddit users have commented on his predicament. While some take his wife’s side, others have expressed that they understand where his mom is coming from, mainly due to the bad weather conditions.

One person said they would instead reserve judgment and first hear more about the mother and daughter-in-law’s relationship. Moreover, one individual decided to be logical about the situation, saying using two vehicles while heading to the same destination would be a waste.